Imagination Connoisseur, Dallas Lemons, thinks he may have found the ultimate IP franchise for the perpetual mystery box filmmakers at Bad Reboot … er, Bad Robot.

(edited for clarity)

Howdy Viceroy,

I stumbled upon a movie on Amazon I’d never heard of the other day: THE CUBE. I welcome your thoughts on this film. And with it, I believe I’ve found the perfect metaphor for our current issues with Star Trek and Star Wars.

THE CUBE is a horror/suspense film that came out in the late 90’s. It takes place in a literal mystery box!

The film is what you’d expect from a late 90’s horror film and wasn’t terrible by any means but it got me thinking … the film’s plot of a mystery box works perfectly because it is literally the point of the films story. It works because we’re unraveling the mystery along with the characters. It’s an exciting premise because it is net-new to us as the audience because we don’t know anything about the world or universe this story takes place in.

This overarching “mystery box” doesn’t work within previously well-defined universes and characters. It’s ok to have a mysterious plot but it needs to work within the context previously laid out in the universe.

So, I think I’ve found a franchise for Bad Robot to reboot – THE CUBE.

It lends itself perfectly to their brand of storytelling because it is jarring for Jean Luc Picard to awaken in a large square structure with no clue of how he got there (insert obvious Borg joke).

The verisimilitude is lost when storytellers get lazy because they reject the already-painted canvas. With existing franchises, each film is an addition to the overall mural. It all has to work together. Bad Robot seems to like certain aspects of Star Trek, but then wants to “do their own thing” and ends up drawing stick figures onto a Picasso.

– Dallas L.

P.S. My super-chat from yesterday about gravity reversing itself was a Chris Knight quote from Real Genius. You know, one of the ten brightest minds in the country. I thought you were a fan, but you’ve broken my heart into a million pieces and I may never recover.